Thursday, May 01, 2008

I don't know what to write

My mind is blank.

Plenty of fuel. Car is running, but no destination. I am not driving it anywhere. The car is just here, engine running, I am stepping on the accelerator, but stationary.

This is what my mind is going through, how I think my brain is functioning. Scary. Perhaps I have finally come to conclusion as to why I have some health issues, dating from 3-4 months back. Arrhythmia, hair loss, and my recent blood result shows sign of something going on in my body, probably the liver.

Physically on the outside I feel perfectly fine. I told a pharmacist cum naturopath friend of mine and she thinks she knows what the constitution is but is not telling me because of professional reason. She has recommended me to see a homeopath who is also a psychologist, hence possible conflicts in diagnosis. Before I see him I had to write my life picture. Which took pages long, and over a span of two days. Honestly, it was like baring my whole sole, my deepest, darkest secret to a stranger. She said by writing the 'picture', it can bring up lots of stuff that I don't realise is affecting my subcon. Liver function is related to anger.........What am I angry at? That, I will need to sit on that special couch to find out. I am telling you, she is good. She sees through me.

I am spraying Bach Rescue Remedy like perfume now.

I am psychologically disturbed.

I need Prozac.

5 comments:

miche said...

i was think the same line too just now...."My mind is blank and I don't know what to write." You think I need to see a psycho lady too arh???

i hope all this gonna be better soon. u will, i know coz u have a beautiful son waiting for his mommy to be better and raise him till he grow old. ;)

sting said...

better have the liver checked.. do hope you'll get things back to normal soon..

Sweetpea said...

miche - his wife is going to hate me big time!! hahahaa

sting - thanks i will. i want to grow old healthily :)

Mummy In Vain said...

eh, what happen to you? better take good care of yourself. y is liver problem relates with psycology problem? weird huh..

MamaJo said...

Geee...you sound like you got 'terminal illness'? Nothing is impossible, definitely there is a cure for it...be more relax, okie?