Friday, August 17, 2007

To intervene or leave it to God's will?

Wilkin's grandfather was brought to the emergency department in the hospital two nights ago for fluid retention in the lungs.

He has been staying in an aged care facility for almost two years now. He is about 90 or older, for way back then no one recorded the year of birth. With him having minor accidents around his house, everyone decided it was the best for him to have full time carers looking after him.

Grandpa-in-law (GIL) is a man of few words. For all the years I have been here, he would stay in the house, only to go out for dinners with us. He enjoys his food. He is very friendly with Aidan though, and would try to strike up a conversation with the little rascal everytime we saw him.

But lately, his health has been deteriorating. The sight at the aged care is depressing. Every person that stays there either just sit and stare, others with their heads nodding off to slumberland. I understand more now, that not all families who send their loved ones away to such facilities are heartless. The world goes round, it won't stop for us. And we can't stop for them when we have the younger generation to nurture.

Anyway, we visit whenever we can. FIL never fails to visit at least once a week, as he has to work, and there are others in the family who visit on other days.

Back to GIL. He is back at the aged care after a night at the hospital. He can hardly eat now. His face looks sunken. The doctors have news for us. GIL is old. Systems are shutting down. We can either put him on a drip to try to 'save' him, or let him be, and it was suggested it might be better this way, as he may be able to leave us peacefully in his sleep. His pulse rate at the moment is only 20-30 per minute. When he sleeps, the rate may even drop lower, and.......

Mott, I feel so much about your post now.

16 comments:

shern's mom said...

when it's God's callin, then im afraid we just have to let go sometimes. though it might be hard, God will see you through. be strong and take care..

Mommy to Chumsy said...

sorry to hear about grandpapa :(

babyfiona said...

When it is the time, it the time. We cant do anything..its hard, of course..which mine is terrible..with both grandma of my parent side, one left a week before my wedding and one 1 month after my wedding.. -____-".

What Shern's mom said is true. it might be hard, but god will see you through

littlepolaris said...

I know it's hard to let someone go but then, on the other hand perhaps it's better for him. I think grandpa also doesn't want to see everyone worry about him, feel sad. Sometimes, we just have to learn how to let go.

bokjae said...

Take heart, these are things all of us contend with! Leave to God rather than trying to help God!

U.Lee said...

Hi Sweetpea, I guess all of us will come to this day sooner or later.
I am now on this journey towards my twilight years. In youth the days are short and the years are long; in old age the years are short and the days long.
Reading your warm and sentimental post, yes...love and kindness plus understanding will make his days.
The day when a young lady or man stands up for me in a bus and offers me a seat, then I will know my time has arrived, ha ha.
But till then, I will go on admiring women, it helps in good blood circulation.
You have a nice day, Sweetpea, UL.

mott said...

SSIGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!

I'm so sorry that your GIL is in this current state as well. It's fragile.. life.

haizzzzzzzz.... don't know what to say anymore.

Sweetpea said...

thank you all, for your kind words. yes, personally, i feel it is for the better for us to let go. after all, we cannot control life and death. but i guess it's natural to think to do whatever we can.

thanks again, all.

Etcetera~Mommy said...

I once read an article that we shouldn't try to save a premature baby's life if knowing his / her chances of survival is very slim. We should let them go in peace instead of poking all the tubes in her to no avail. But then again, which parent on earth could make such sane decision when it involves the person we love? I can't. I guess we just have to do what we think is right at that point of time. You all take care.... I don't know what else to say.. take care.. and..erm.. be strong.

Kok said...

sweetpea,
I'm sorry to hear that. Be strong to overcome this...

mr fong said...

I feel so bad for you...However, life is a test, and there must be a time for release- when the essence of life, having enjoyed enough experiences, joys and sadnessed- and when life ends, at such a ripeand old age, let's hope for the strength to release, and celebrate..

I pray for you,and hope things will turn out well- they would.

Sasha said...

ooo same case like my grandad + grandma last time. Just do whatever u guys can, give drip and all. If its meant to be.....then accept it.

PEARLY said...

so sad and sori for grand papa . but he had his 90 years and grand grand kids around life is not too bad for him , so don't be so sad ok .
thanking of you and you family xxxx

Sweetpea said...

thanks all again, for your great support. GIL is okay for the moment, and will be keeping my fingers crossed for everything to be fine.

jazzmint said...

agree with u, not easy to make the decision...at the time when my FIL was at the final stage of cancer, we couldn't make the decision too...and he made it in the end before we could..just 2 wks, one day doc told us...be ready..so I guess he chose what he wanted

Sweetpea said...

jazzmint, i guess this is one of the stage we have to go through with our oldies but goldies. never thought of it as a phase of life, but that's how the world works. someday our younger generation may have to make that decision for us older ones...