Let there be smiles

I have been thinking of a friend lately. A very special friend.

He passed away in a car accident many years now, and a few days ago marked the forgotten years of that fateful dawn. The years passed me by, but never the date.

We dated back in highschool, I was the one who called for the breakup. We went on with our lives. Nothing to it, when you think of it. Puppy love?

The day a friend called me to tell me that, let's just call him E, died in an accident, I didn't quite know what to think and not quite believing it. I called his house asking for him. His mum confirmed the news. I was shaken. Never in my circle of friends had anyone 'left' so young. Apparently he was alone when the accident happened. It was drizzling that morning, and I remembered thinking it was such a nice day to sleep in. The road must have been wet and slippery. The ambulance never turned up until it was too late. Allegedly some passer-bys took the advantage to get their hands on his personal belongings like wallet, watch or rings. If this is true, they are sick. There is karma.

Since then I dream of him about twice, or three times a year. Bittersweet dreams, and he was almost always unrested, angry, self-abusing. How do we intepret dreams? Is it how I perceive a thing to be and that's how I dream of it? Or is he trying to tell me something? Is there something between us that is not settled? Or is it just me, that something in me that hasn't got a fullstop to this?

I don't think of him. But the dates, this and his birthday, come naturally to my mind. Dreams will just suddenly appear. Weird? Coincidence? Spooky?

Do rest in peace, E. The next time I dream of you, I want to see you smiling and be happy.